Double the trouble or twice the fun? (From Stroud News and Journal)

Double the trouble or twice the fun?

Twins are a phenomenon that has intrigued mankind from the earliest times to the present day and countless studies into twins have been conducted by scientists of every nation - most notoriously by the Nazis in concentration camps during the Second World War. In the Stroud Valleys the occurrence of twins is so far from uncommon that there is a twins club specifically for the mothers of twins to meet and share their ups and downs. Skip Walker talked to several sets of twins and their mothers to find out if they were any different from ordinary mortals

ANYONE who has ever seen children of a similar height, dressed in the same clothes and appearing to be about the same age and asked "Are they twins?" might like to know that this is the question the mothers of twins dislike above all others. So, too, do the twins themselves and "double trouble" ranks only slightly higher.

Despite the occasional inane remark, however, it seems that the experience of being a twin is a good one, the benefits vastly outweigh the drawbacks and far from feeling less of an individual they actually feel more special than the rest of us.

For the mothers of twins, however, the experience appears initially to be more of a burden than a benefit.

Hazel Morbey, of Coronation Road, Stroud and Stephanie Weager, of Swifts Hill View, Uplands each have sets of twin boys under the age of three.

The overriding impression they give is that twins of this age are hard work and they can be expensive. They are also a lot of fun.

Stephanie said that her initial reaction to being told she was going to have twins was one of shock, a state that lasted some time as she and her husband realised that their house was too small and they would have to move.

This, said Hazel, is normal for families with twins; they very often either have to extend their home or move house to accommodate everyone.

During pregnancy in both Hazel's and Stephanie's cases, they were thrilled at the prospect of having twins. The reality kicks in after birth they said.

"The thing about having twins," said Hazel, "is that it is not like having two children, more like having three, with each one having their own personality and needs and then there are the dynamics between the two of them."

Hazel also has an older son, Laurie, and for her one of the hardest aspects has been supporting him while still finding time for the twins.

Laurie, on the other hand, appears not to mind and enjoys twice the opportunities to play and have fun with his brothers.

Stephanie finds that at 21 months her twins, Charlie and Thomas, just go off and play together and she doesn't have to entertain them in the same way that the mothers of single toddlers do.

On the other hand she feels she probably has double the number of sleepless nights because if one of the twins is awake and restless they both are.

There are also the problems of finding childminders with spaces for two children, places at nursery school and the social problems that start to creep in.

At party time, for example, are friends obliged to invite both twins, even if they are friendly with just one?

And present sharing, it seems, starts young with twins and continues for most of their life, which the twins find particularly irksome.

"It is not that people are mean," said Hazel. "It is often just that the twins are somehow seen as a single being and not as two individuals."

Identical

Identical twins have particular pitfalls and pleasures of their own. Not only are they the same age and twice the work but very few people can tell them apart.

Rachel and Stephanie Burns, of Cashes Green, have to wear different coloured shirts to school so that their friends and the teachers know who they are.

Even their mother, Julie, can't tell them apart from the back and their father is generally so confused he refers to them simply as "the girls".

Rachel and Stephanie are seven and three quarters and generally they enjoy the experience of being identical.

"We do like it," said Stephanie. "But she bosses me around," said Rachel. Stephanie is 14 minutes older than Rachel and feels this gives her the upper hand, a common experience amongst twins.

But despite being identical and similar in many ways other than in looks there are significant differences between them.

Stephanie, for example, is good at maths while Rachel is better at English and while Stephanie is a little chatterbox her sister is much quieter.

"I talk too much," said Stephanie. "Rachel's quite shy."

On the whole, however, the similarities are much more marked than the differences.

Their mother Julie was amazed when recently the class at their school was asked to paint self portraits and despite being at separate tables the pictures painted by Stephanie and Rachel were virtually identical.

They also like the same food, the same music and the same clothes and although they do have some separate friends they share the same "best" friend, Kerry.

They wear the same shoe size and there is just 1mm difference in their height.

Two sets

Up the hill at Eastcombe the Heard household contains two sets of twins just 17 months apart, non-identical, and their mother, Sylvie Heard, said she hardly had time to breathe until they reached the age of about six and seven.

They are now aged 14 and 15 and Sylvie says that life is much as in any other family, with all the usual joys and sorrows and frustrations associated with growing up, only rather more of them.

"The main difference with twins is that everything is more intense, because you have two of them going through the same stages together," she said.

"And, of course, I have had to grow a couple of extra arms in order to push four swings at the same time.

"I used to envy mothers with just one baby in a single buggy. It was my idea of heaven." Lewis and Rochelle Heard are 15 and after giving the matter considerable thought have decided that it is better to be a twin than not.

"You've always got someone around of the same age so you can always talk," said Rochelle, "and you feel closer because you are the same age."

Lewis appreciates the fact that Rochelle has loads of girlfriends that he can be introduced to and he enjoys sharing his taste in music and people with his twin sister.

Roxanne and Brittany Heard, aged 14, are very different in character and say they have not felt very much like twins so far but agree they are growing closer as they grow older.

"It's nice because you always have someone with you who knows you and who you get on with," said Roxanne.

Inseparable

For closeness and compatibility it would be hard to beat identical twins Lina and Linka who, at the age of 28, still ring each other several times every day and meet up many times a week.

When they were born they were so alike that their mother had to put different coloured pins on their nappies to make sure she didn't get them mixed up.

But that was not the worst problem for their mother, who didn't know she was having twins until after Lina was born and she was told there was yet another baby to come.

For some time afterwards she had nightmares that she was going to go on endlessly producing babies from her womb.

Lina and Linka have always loved being twins and have rarely lived far apart - Lina now lives in Uplands and Linka in Butterow - apart from when Linka went to university in Bristol and even then the phoned each other every day.

They know what the other is thinking, share the same taste to the extent that even when shopping separately they will often buy the same clothes and they rely on each other for support, even though they are both now married.

Their closeness has, however, sometimes proved a problem for other members of the family, friends and more recently their husbands.

They have an older sister, Lisa, and both Lina and Linka agree that she has probably felt excluded by her younger twin sisters.

On the plus side, however, Lisa has always been given her own birthday presents, whereas Lina and Linka have had to share, and she has had more individual attention from their mother.

But they both agree there are many more plusses than minuses to being a twin and neither can imagine life without the other.

As Linka said: "We'll probably end up as two old women living together."