With Valentine’s Day just around the corner – it can seem like another pull on household expenses. While it would be wonderful to be able to shower a partner in ravishing gifts (and receive the same treatment in return!), Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon claim this isn’t always possible or in fact necessary.

Ellaine Cameron, Centre Manager of Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon, points out that “even though Valentine’s Day can easily turn into a commercialised event in which couples feel pressured to spend money on each other, we can also choose to view the occasion differently which still enables couples to see the 14th February as a day to celebrate and appreciate the romantic love that they have in their lives without breaking the bank”.

For example, research conducted by Gary Chapman recognises five different ‘love languages’ which he describes as different ways of giving and receiving love and only one of them involves giving gifts or presents. The other love languages involve offering ‘words‘, ‘acts of service‘, ‘physical touch’ and/or ‘time’ to one another.

Therefore Kimberley Wall, Service Development Manager of Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon, argues that; “There are already four other ways to show or give your love to a partner which doesn’t involve spending money and if you do want to give your partner a gift, think of ways to make your own. Not only can this be quite fun and silly but showing your love in ways that takes more time and effort may also become more valuable to your partner anyway”.

What is interesting about Chapman’s research as well is that it recognises that each of us expresses our love differently; some of us may have a dominant ‘love language’ in which we believe love is showed to another in a certain way whereas our partner may have a different dominant ‘love language’: unless we recognise the different ways different people show and feel love we may not recognise the act of love they are offering, the effort put into it or even that our partner feels unloved simply because we do not communicate in the same (love) language.

Kimberley offers some ideas on how to show your partner you love them which should not add to the burden of finances that can still be heavily affected by the recent festive season and suggests looking out for different ways that your partner is showing their love: 1) Gifts: Without a big budget there are ways to make gifts which you can give to your partner which include making your own card, baking a cake, cutting and gluing a photo montage or creating a CD of your partner’s favourite songs.

2) Words: Why not put pen to paper and write your partner a letter? This could include your favourite memories together, what you are thankful for or what you love about them. Sometimes we can assume our partner knows that we love them but receiving words in writing can be a gift in itself. Writing a poem (or song for the ultra-creative) is another way to make your partner feel special.

3) Acts of Service: Why not do something for your partner even though you know it’s their ‘turn’ or something they would usually do themselves (but do not particularly enjoy)? For example, why not clean out their car? Or fix that shelf/mow the lawn/do their share of cooking or washing up for the day? This may be very greatly received and give them some extra time to relax. Alternatively why not make them breakfast in bed or run them a bath with rose petals/candles/music which is a bit more out of the ordinary?

4) Physical Touch: Sex can be an important element of many romantic relationships but physical touch can also be offered in other ways including holding hands even if you’re watching the telly, giving your partner a massage or foot rub or putting some time aside alone to kiss and cuddle.

5) Time: Why not set some time for ‘date-night’ to recognise the special time your relationship deserves. If you have no budget then even a walk, feeding the ducks, going to watch your partner play their weekly sport match or deciding to watch a romantic DVD together can still feel like ‘us’ time especially if your lives are usually quite busy. You could even plan 12 of these dates, one for each month, to ensure your love is celebrated for the whole year.