NEW campaign calls for the NHS to recognise the link between relationships and health, improving health and wellbeing and reducing pressure on the public purse

Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon is calling on local government to put relationships at the heart of the NHS so that more people in Gloucestershire and Swindon living with long term health conditions can access relationship support.

This comes as a report released today by national charity Relate finds that the link between relationships and health is too often ignored in the NHS, and new polling suggests that the effects of living with health conditions are putting pressure on people’s relationships.

A YouGov poll found that around one in four people with a life-limiting health problem or who are disabled said their condition has impacted negatively on relationships they have or have had with partners (24 per cent), friends (25 per cent), family (23 per cent) or colleagues (33 per cent).*

Despite clear evidence that good quality relationships can prevent, delay or minimise the effects of health conditions, only half (51 per cent) of those with a life-limiting health problem or who are disabled and have received professional support said it has taken their relationships into account effectively.

A further 21 per cent said they feel the support they received hasn’t considered their relationships at all.

Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon sees this as a missed opportunity to improve lives and reduce pressure on the public purse, so is backing the launch of Relate’s national campaign called ‘The Best Medicine’.

The campaign aims to show that relationships are critical to our health and wellbeing and calls on local health policy makers.

Ellaine Cameron, Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon Centre Manager said: “It can be a long road when you’re living with physical or mental health condition, and couple, family and social relationships are a vital part of making the journey better. Yet when we need our relationships most, the effects of having a health condition can pile on the pressure.

We want excellent relationship support to be made more accessible at the point of diagnosis and beyond. There are 15 million people living with long term health conditions in the UK,** a number of whom will live in the South West, so please sign our petition today to show your support.”

Kimberley Wall, Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon’s Service Development Manager says that “Everything from cancer to depression, strokes to dementia can affect the roles of everyone in the family and the emotional impact of these changes can be devastating. We therefore also encourage people in this situation to contact us for support. Charges do currently apply which is why we are asking our local health policy makers to ensure they prioritise the support of relationships and the whole family unit in times of ill-health in the future”.

The local charity wants health policy makers in the area to change lives, recommending that:

• Health and Wellbeing Boards make relationships a core part of their work.

• Directors of Public Health collect data about relationships locally.

• Clinical Commissioning Groups and local authorities undertake a ‘Family Test’ when considering local policies and commissioning.

Lorna’s story

Lorna Perks, 51, an inventor and entrepreneur from the South West, was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago and has experienced low confidence and body issues following her mastectomy, which left her with permanent scarring. Lorna said:

“I decided to go to Relate for individual counselling following my mastectomy to address why I was single and what was stopping me from finding somebody. I was feeling unattractive due to the way my breasts looked after my operation and had very low self-esteem.

“My self-confidence has improved so much thanks to the counselling. My sister and I weren’t the best of friends before I was diagnosed as we just didn’t have much in common but that all changed after she dropped everything and came to stay with me for four months to help me through it. We are so much closer now and I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

To find out more about The Best Medicine campaign and to sign the petition visit www.relate.org.uk/thebestmedicine.

Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon can help people whether they are struggling to deal with a diagnosis and the fallout, need help telling others what is happening, or are supporting someone else. Relate’s trained counsellors provide impartial and non-judgmental information, support and counselling for all stages of the journey. Please call your local Relate centre on 01242 523215 or 01793 495190 for more information.

Relate’s tips for keeping relationships rich during poor health:

• Don’t bottle it up: It can be tempting to skirt around the issue with friends and family in case people get upset, but open communication is really important.

• Expect change: Realise that the dynamics of your relationships may change, particularly if a partner or family member is taking on the role of ‘carer’. Don’t make assumptions about how this will make you both feel.

• See the person not the illness: Remember they are still the person you knew and loved before. Some of their behaviours may be symptoms of their condition so try to separate these and not to take them personally.

• Make time and space for intimacy: In a couple relationship, try to separate yourself from the patient/carer role now and again to allow time for intimacy with your partner. Perhaps create a special room in the house where these roles no longer exist and you can spend quality time together.

• Remember everyone is different: Health conditions affect people in different ways and what works for somebody may not be the same for everyone.

• Consider counselling: It’s tempting to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’ but talking to somebody impartial about how you feel and putting mechanisms in place to cope with the changes in your relationship.